Counseling for men

Are You Struggling With Men’s Relationship Issues, a Sense of Purpose or Your Identity?

Do you fear abandonment or betrayal and often find it hard to trust your partner? Are you worried about your level of intimacy or sexual competency, or feel that like you’re just not “good enough?” Or, maybe you have trouble communicating effectively, being emotionally accessible or articulating what you want and need from your partner. It may be that you sometimes withdraw or lash out because you no longer understand what your purpose is in the relationship.

Are cultural expectations making it difficult to navigate redefined gender roles, new financial responsibilities or understand what it means to be a man in an evolving social context. Do you feel unsuccessful, inadequate or weak because the roles you’ve taken on as a man, father or breadwinner conflict with the traditional narrative? Or, perhaps you wake up in the morning feeling like something is missing, but you don’t know what it is. Do you wish you could confidently accept and believe in yourself, value your relationship and experience genuine fulfillment in your life?

Many Men Experience Difficulty with Identity and Purpose  

A lot of rules are changing about what it means to be a man or a father, and that can cause some confusion and frustration in relationships. The traditional roles that our mothers and fathers grew up with are shifting, even reversing, leaving many men to question not only their roles, but also their self-worth. Today, traditional rites of passage that marked becoming a man are growing obsolete. Combined with the lingering cultural expectation that men have to “toughen up” and fix themselves, many guys are finding themselves at an impasse. 

Perhaps you suffer from inner conflict even though you’re happy for the empowerment of your partner, favor spending more time with the kids or are relieved that you’re not the primary decision maker. You might be asking yourself, “What’s my place? Is it okay for me to be feeling or doing things the way I am? Am I doing enough?” If so, you are likely struggling to contain emotions and insecurities that are manifesting in ugly outbursts, anger, depression, anxiety and self-esteem issues that you don’t know how to remedy on your own.

In fact, it’s estimated that 14 percent of men will encounter a mental health challenge during their lives, and an alarming number will not seek help until it becomes a crisis. This is due largely to our fix-it-yourself culture and because so many men still view asking for help as a sign of weakness or failure, which only highlights the need for asking for help sooner rather than later. Fortunately, with my empathetic approach to counseling for men, I can help you find comfort, security and dignity in your relationship with yourself.

Counseling for Men Can Help You Appreciate and Respect Yourself

Men’s counseling can provide you with open and honest dialogue, straightforward information and encouragement that you can immediately use to resolve inner conflict and establish direction, accountability and balance in your life. As we work together, you can learn to cultivate self-empowerment and set actionable goals that will help you find fulfillment in self-acceptance.

In individual counseling sessions, we’ll start by building an environment of mutual trust, founded on empathy and shared experiences. We’ll create a space of understanding, where you can feel safe to express your concerns and eventually address factors that may be repressed or contributing to a lack of self-acceptance. We’ll target areas you may need to work on, such as communication skills, trust and accountability while identifying and examining how faulty coping mechanisms and family of origin issues may be sabotaging your best intentions. We’ll explore archetypal aspects—or, parts of you that take over or are triggered by relational situations or circumstances—and develop better ways of dealing with difficult emotions, negative thought patterns and issues of low self-importance. Eventually, you can find liberation from who you think you should be and begin working on becoming the person you want to be.

Because everyone experiences change differently, I always tailor my approach to men’s counseling to your unique needs and situation. I provide men’s relationship counseling techniques that can help you develop non-violent, interpersonal communications skills, strengthen bonds of trust and alleviate fears of abandonment.

In parts work, we’ll generate greater self-awareness by exploring different aspects of your personality, where those parts originate from and how they can create inner conflict that falsely informs your thoughts and actions when confronted with challenges and preconceived notions of masculinity. Using cognitive behavioral therapy for men, I can also show you where your cognitive distortion stems from and how it misinforms the motivations for your thoughts and behavior. Role playing techniques can give you the chance to step outside of yourself and experience things from the perspective of a partner, your children or society in general. This, in turn, can help you reassess how you view yourself and strengthen positive, productive interactions with others.

I understand how elusive men’s empowerment can be and how difficult it is to adapt to the evolution of relationships, gender roles and society’s expectations of men. Whether you need help building confidence in your relationship, overcoming painful past experiences or seek reassurance of your professional competence, counseling can transform how you see yourself and improve your overall quality of life.

I am considering counseling for men, but I still have a few concerns…

I’ve always lived with the assumption that real men solve their own problems.

Unfortunately, the idea that we should be able to solve all of our problems ourselves is a common and even dangerous pitfall. It is a relic from a bygone era, produced by a false social narrative that was never true to begin with. Men aren’t superhuman. Just like everyone else, we have problems understanding our emotions; face difficult, confusing challenges; and have flaws that make us human. Believing that you don’t deserve help can only make you more deeply entrenched in a cycle of low self-worth and feelings of powerlessness. You can resolve your inner turmoil, find acceptance in yourself and empower yourself through asking for help.

I am afraid that I will be perceived as weak.

There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. Helping each other is why we live in communities instead of caves. It’s what helps us to survive, become stronger and prosper. Going at your problems alone can be a noble character trait, but refusing to ask for help when you need it can also be a futile waste of time. Personal counseling strategies can actually help you become stronger, more resilient and capable of handling trying situations in the future. By developing these tools and knowing how to use them, you can increase your sense of confidence, competence and self-respect.

I’m not sure I can afford counseling for men.

Life is short and, if you are struggling emotionally and want to make a change in your life or state of mind, you shouldn’t wait. Left unaddressed, something seemingly small can turn into a crisis quickly, especially when relationships are involved. Yes, it may require an initial investment, but that investment is on behalf of your overall quality of life—and therapy isn’t a life-long commitment. Once you have the tools, knowledge and guidance you need, you can continue the success we have in sessions on your own indefinitely, saving you time, frustration and perhaps, even your health.

You Don’t Have to Overcome Your Problems on Your Own

If you are stuck in a cycle of self-defeating thoughts or questioning your role in a relationship, men’s therapy may be able to help. Please call 303 717 7821  or contact me for a free 15-minute consultation. I would be pleased to address any concerns you may have about my practice or approach to empowerment for men.