Problems in Your Relationship or Marriage Could Be Impacting Your Quality of Life
Have you become generally comfortable in a mature relationship, but feel that you lack the strength or skills to address problematic issues? Maybe you are concerned that you and your partner are growing apart, especially as the responsibilities of day-to-day life consume your time and energy. Perhaps, one of you feels under-appreciated, overly criticized or isolated and you want to be heard and validated without having conversations spiral into arguments. It could be that your relationship suffers from poor communication, frequent fighting or a lack of intimacy. Or, maybe problematic ex-spouses, co-parenting challenges or differences in child rearing strategies are causing discord that you don’t know how to resolve. Sometimes, we throw ourselves into a career, yet find that trouble with finances, role expectations or establishing a healthy work/ life balance is causing unintended friction in an otherwise healthy relationship. Perhaps, issues with trust, fidelity or the fear of abandonment are creating so much stress that you don’t even know how to enjoy time with your partner. Do you wish you could go back to the way things used to be—or find ways to reconnect and truly be companions again?
All Relationships Have Their Challenges
All healthy relationships require work to maintain. Unfortunately, none of us are born knowing how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict or accept compromise in order to preserve the bond between two people. Instead, we allow past experiences, popular culture and traditional social “norms” to inform us of what relationships should entail. Family of origin issues—such as growing up around constant fighting, suppressed emotions or ongoing unresolved conflict often mirror themselves in our adult relationships. Popular culture creates a false narrative of love in which everything should naturally be perfect and require minimal work or effort. And, society itself has set unrealistic, concrete roles for men and women that may become a source of confusion and frustration when we can’t live up to those ideals.
Of course, issues with infidelity, trust and fear can contribute to problems in a relationship, but largely, our inherent inability to communicate, harmonize and resolve conflict productively is the greatest obstacle to sustaining happiness between two people. Love does require work.
Thankfully, it is possible for both you and your partner to learn the skills needed to apologize authentically, genuinely forgive each other and create sustainable changes in your relationship. With a skilled and compassionate relationship therapist, you can learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict and repair damage so that you can start enjoying the blessing of your relationship again.
Couples Counseling Can Promote Greater Harmony In Your Relationship
When you and your partner commit to couples therapy, you are both devoting your time and energy to effectively addressing problematic issues and fortifying the bonds of your relationship. Working as a team, you can learn how to generate genuine empathy and compassion toward one another while developing greater awareness of each other’s needs.
Because each couple’s challenges vary, I always tailor my relationship therapy approach to your unique situation, needs and goals. And, while I may briefly concentrate on how one person’s actions or behavior may adversely affect the relationship, I always regard the well-being of the relationship, itself, as my client. Throughout our sessions, you will always be aware of the purpose of our exercises, and I will help you both gain insight into what is currently working, where you need more support and how you can deal with problematic situations in the future.
In discreet and empowering sessions, we begin by targeting the source of your problems and giving a name to what is really behind the challenges affecting your relationship. Using a strategy called “joining though truth,” you and your partner can gain a greater understanding of complex emotions and problematic behavioral patterns that you may not be aware of. Working collaboratively, we will take a straightforward approach to improving your relationship by setting actionable goals with practical expectations. We will look at how family of origin issues, relationship histories and personal experiences may falsely inform your current partnership and target ways of moving toward a more honest way of co-existing.
If infidelity or fear of abandonment issues are preventing you from trusting your partner, we’ll look at where those preoccupations originate and focus on reframing misperceptions and complicated emotions so that you can trust and love without fear or anger. If the evolution of your partnership worries you, I can teach you how to appreciate the maturation of your relationship, find fulfillment in each other and generate greater mental and physical intimacy. And if there is a disparity in power, validation or respect, I can help you establish balance by teaching you productive communication skills that will help you or your partner become more emotionally accessible, authentic and compassionate. No matter what obstacles you face, partner counseling can help you learn to honor, protect and repair the relationship you are so blessed to have.
Coming from a place of personal experience, I know how challenging it can be to face and resolve relationship issues successfully. People make mistakes, and the unions we find ourselves in can be as taxing as they are wonderful. It is important to remember that, despite the current state of your partnership, with your commitment to working together as a team, meaningful and sustainable change is truly possible.
I am considering couples counseling, but I still have some concerns…
I am afraid that counseling for couples will be expensive.
I invite you to consider this: how much does your relationship mean to you and what will it cost in financial and emotional terms if you aren’t able to repair it alone? The truth is, just by being on this page, you have already demonstrated an unspoken desire to repair your relationship. And while it may require an initial investment, the benefits to your mental, physical, financial and relational well-being down the road could be immeasurable, especially if you have children.
I am afraid that my situation cannot be fixed.
Co-existing with another entirely unique individual requires a collaborative effort of dedication and diligence. Conflict in relationships is completely natural, and repair is absolutely possible. I understand that some information that may come up in our sessions could potentially be painful. However, having those hard conversations in the presence of an objective and compassionate couples counselor gives you the assurance that you will have the professional support and guidance you need to get through the pain and begin repairing what you thought was lost.
I have the support of family and friends, so do I really need a relationship therapist?
While your friends and family can provide unflinching support, a majority of the time, they have difficulty being objective and telling hard truths. In relationship and marriage counseling sessions, you gain the objective and neutral insight of a trained professional. And while I never cast blame or judge either individual, I do strive to be straightforward and won’t sugarcoat the truth. I’ll always support and validate your personal concerns, but I’ll also show you and your partner the reality of the challenges your relationship faces. With my help, you and your partner can learn authentic communication skills, personal strategies for resolving conflict and how to set actionable goals that you can use outside of the office to create sustainable changes and improvements in your relationship.
You Don’t Have to Navigate the Hurdles in Your Relationship Alone
If you and your partner are struggling with issues in your relationship, please call 303 717 7821 or email contact me for a free 15-minute consultation. I would be honored to address any concerns you may have about my practice or approach to couples counseling.